Creating Religions With Fallible Gods
Or- All I ask is a tall (relation)ship and a star to steer her by.
We’re finally moving on to Line of Effort -5 - Relationships. Over the past few months we have covered the following LOEs:
I’ve been a bit reluctant to delve into LOE-5 because I am definitely not the most qualified to give relationship advice. Hell, I’m the guy who just graphically represented his wonderful wife as a boulder being rolled uphill, so I wouldn’t fault you if you moved on to Dr. Phil.
The purpose of viewing our lives through the lens of Lines of Effort is to help protect our two most valuable resources, time and energy.
Make the most of your time while making time for the things that matter most.
It may be helpful to think of relationships as plants rather than stones. We each manage a garden with dozens of relationships. We are children, parents, spouses, cousins-in-law-twice-removed, friends, neighbors, coworkers, employees, employers, and on and on.
The first question we need to ask is whether each plant is getting the right amount of water.
Once we factor in the time requirements of the other LOEs, sleep, work, exercise, mindfulness, etc, there isn’t a lot of time or energy left.
It’s worth evaluating the time spent tending each plant. You might find that some that require the most tending are ones you don’t even care for.
Why are you putting time and effort into the ragweed?
Others, like military friendships, are sturdy plants that you love dearly, and which can thrive on a sporadic phone call.
If you are anything like me you might realize that the most important plants often go without water for too long.
It is also a mistake to believe that just time is enough without energy and attention.
There is a great quote from Scott O’Neil, “Be where your feet are.”
30 minutes of focused attention is probably better than 3 hours of randomly mumbling, “Uh huh,” while scrolling on your phone. We all make time for the things that are important to us. Sometimes we just need to reevaluate what those things are.
You have heard me rail against the idea of multi-tasking (it’s not a real thing). But, what we can do is multipurpose activities. Dinner without phones lets you eat (which you’ve got to do anyway) while catching up.
Including family or friends in sports or physical activities will benefit you both. Even better, join them in something they love to do. If it helps you progress in another LOE, all the better.
Not for nothing, but if you are still trucking along on your New Year’s resolution, it may help to prune the plants that aren’t supportive and add some new plants to your garden. When I started running ultra-marathons finding a crew of like-minded people helped normalize a very not-normal activity, plus misery loves company.
And if you have little plants, and are not averse to poorly disguised F-Bombs, you should check out my buddy Michael Venutolo-Mantovani’s substack, Being a Dad is Hard as F*ck. I think a substack swap is in the offing.
P.S. This post’s subtitle is a reference to the poem Sea-Fever by John Masefield via Willy Wonka.
Read. The Science of Rapid Skill Acquisition by Peter Hollins
Hollins’ book is a great primer for quickly mastering new skills and abilities.
Write.
The post above is not the one I initially wrote for this week. It had to do with skill development, hard work, and techniques for getting better. The usual stuff.
It was garbage. Of course, I didn’t realize it was garbage until I finished.
That’s not true. I had an idea it was garbage, but I thought I could fix it. I figured I could add a few witty anecdotes and everything would be ok.
They all can’t be winners, right?
Maybe not, but they all have to be good. I have to believe in what I’ve written and be proud of it. You deserve that.
So, at the last minute, I deleted it and went back to the drawing board.
There’s probably a lesson in there somewhere.
Repeat. Words of wisdom from those who said it best:
Once you stop learning, you start dying. ~Albert Einstein
The only skill that will be important in the 21st century is the skill of learning new skills. Everything else will become obsolete over time. ~Peter Drucker
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ~Chinese Proverb
The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go. ~Dr. Seuss
I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. ~Thomas Jefferson,
See you next Tuesday!
Thanks for the shoutout! TRWR are some of the highlights of my inbox's week!